I’m familiar negotiating who I am to please others. Some may call me inauthentic, I call this self-protection. However, I have burned through my shields. Too tired to be exhausted, this continuous disguise has faded. It’s time I accept myself and no longer sacrifice self-love for overall acceptance.
The mask I wear runs deeper than my foundation, and so today I decide to shift my narrative. I am no longer a finished product of what I’ve been through, I am a project continuously craving care, love, and attention. Today, I am proudly high maintenance. I must treat my body with the ultimate fragility. I understand I am the only constant character in my life. I will contribute only to my self preservation. Tonight, in my sweat pants and coiled hair I am nothing less than a Queen.
I deserve to be heard. I deserve to be loved. I deserve to be royalty.
12:46am, February 28th, 2016 the minute I unapologetically decided to love myself
“I must treat my body with the ultimate fragility.”
What does this even mean? I could understand if you described your body as fragile, and concluded that it must be treated delicately, or tenderly, or some such.
“I understand I am the only constant character in my life. I will contribute only to my self preservation.”
That’s fine. So why are you telling us? Why would you expect anyone else to take an interest, when they should be attending to the only constant characters in their own lives? If they should contribute only to their self-preservation, why would you expect them to take time out to contribute to yours, by, say, feeding your need for attention? Are you sure you’ve thought this through?
LikeLike
Love this post! I know you’re receiving a lot of hate right now (as evidenced by the comments I’ve seen on a couple of your posts). Keep the fire. Keep the love in your eyes when you see yourself. You are doing amazing work in loving yourself and sharing your experience out of the love you have for others (and already! So early!). Keep doing it. And from this little piece of academia, I love you back and will keep on fighting for you and for me and for all the you and me I see in my students. Keep it up!
LikeLike
Encantador. Charming
LikeLike
this is so beautiful and it makes me so happy to read
LikeLike
You are inspiring me in ways I’ve wanted to inspire myself for so long. Show them how we don’t have to adjust anymore. We can just be us.
LikeLiked by 3 people
yes, YES!!!!!! Love this. I could feel the truth behind your words. Love this so much.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Good for you. All the best.
LikeLiked by 1 person